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Jul 15, 2011
07/11
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my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling on august 2nd, man will be sentenced to an eternity of licking our own pet's genital, because what would we really do? let them dry out? of course not. [laughter] so hopefully our president, barack obama, can in one swift rooseveltian "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" moment ease the american psychoi can. >> can you tell the folks at home that no matter what happens the social security checks will go out on august 3rd. >> i cannot guarantee that those checks go out on august 3rd if we haven't resolved this issue because there may simply not be the money in the coffer
my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling...
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captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was getting. people are like this is a great day. it's been too long. i was like, yeah, exotic birds. you know what i mean? and then people are like wasn't friday amazing? i was like why? what happened friday? >> it is a history-making night with a vote that just happened a short time ago. new york becomes the 7th jurisdiction in america to recognize marriage for same sex couples. >> jon: that's a major civil rights victory. ( cheers and applause ) new york, finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get married. ( app
captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: welcome to the daily show. my name is jon stewart. tonight jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston will be here. i hope i'm not too exhausted. i had a crazy weekend. yesterday likeyear in the end of june last weekend i dress in glitter like a peacock. i march down fifth avenue to raise awareness of exotic birds. and i've got to tell you this year almost more than any other year it went really really well. i couldn't believe the support i was...
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Jul 27, 2011
07/11
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zain, you definitely captured the essence of me better than jon stewart did. always a pleasure to see you as always. zain verjee in london. there is a bit of a resemblance to an egg, i have to say. >>> a new way to tell if somebody under the influence of drugs. a fingerprint. a british company developed a devise that analyzes the sweat pours in fingertips. the news was announced at a conference last week. no word when it will be used at a traffic stop near you. >>> you know all the invisible radio waves around it, researchers captured that electromagnetic energy. they store it, builds up to power, things like sensors or micro processors. that's neat and scary at the same time. time for the businessman's special. dirty hotels. we have the dirtiest hotels from trip adviser up next. it's 26 after the hour. that's gross. with roc®retinol and antioxidants. lines, wrinkles, and sun damage will fade. roc multi-correxion. correct what ages you. roc multi-correxion. somewhere in america, a city comes to life. it moves effortlessly, breathes easily. it flows with clean
zain, you definitely captured the essence of me better than jon stewart did. always a pleasure to see you as always. zain verjee in london. there is a bit of a resemblance to an egg, i have to say. >>> a new way to tell if somebody under the influence of drugs. a fingerprint. a british company developed a devise that analyzes the sweat pours in fingertips. the news was announced at a conference last week. no word when it will be used at a traffic stop near you. >>> you know...
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Jul 22, 2011
07/11
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from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." boom. got a good one for you tonight. we got a good one for you tonight. i is jon stewart. our guest tonight, focus, boy, focus, our guest tonight steve carell for... [laughter] anyway, i look forward to meeting the young man. our top story, of course, tonight, once again, the continuing revelation in the british tabloid "news of the world" scandal. as you may recall, yesterday news corp owner montgomery burns was called before parliament for a dramatic three-hour testimony so intense the media mogul managed to stay awake. [laughter] he managed to stay awake for nearly all of it. >> this is the most humble day of my life. >> jon: 'tis true. for nearly 80 years rupert murdoch has had, for lack of a better term, the "run of the planet." dominion over all that he surveys. but yesterday, july 19, in the year of our murdoch 2011, was the day that the aussie iconoclast had to accept t
from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show with jon stewart." captioning sponsored by comedy central [theme song playing] [applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." boom. got a good one for you tonight. we got a good one for you tonight. i is jon stewart. our guest tonight, focus, boy, focus, our guest tonight steve carell for... [laughter] anyway, i look forward to meeting the young man. our top story, of course, tonight,...
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Jul 13, 2011
07/11
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show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the show. my name is jon stewart. boom! we got a good one for you tonight. tonight's guest, dennis leary will be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) >> jon: monday denis leary, thursday sergeant first class leroy petry who is going to be receiving the medal of honor, one of the only living members of the military to receive it since the vietnam war, leary on monday, maeld of honor winner on thursday. it will be, the largest character gap we have ever had. (laughter) >> between guests. denis was wondering how i was going to get him today. anyway, took last week off. and had a great vacation. went away completely unplugged. no news, no tv, threw my cell phone in the ocean which caused some problems later but at the time felt pretty great. so let's plug back in, what i did miss? >> the president is worrying that we have just nine days to raise the debt ceiling or risk default. >> the numbers
show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, welcome to the show. my name is jon stewart. boom! we got a good one for you tonight. tonight's guest, dennis leary will be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) >> jon: monday denis leary, thursday sergeant first class leroy petry who is going to be receiving the medal of honor, one of the only living members of the military to receive it since the vietnam war, leary on...
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Jul 29, 2011
07/11
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jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next week when i, chuck assume, revishu schumer, i classic the star wars. in this film, a large asthmatic man dressed in black plastic cuts the arm off of a boy wearing pajamas with some type of a glow stick. and here's the part you won't believe. the man in the suit is the boy's father. >> pretty good summary. still ahead on "way too early," why are you awake? tweets, texts and e-mails are next. emily's just starting out... and on a budget. like a ramen noodle- every-night budget. she thought allstate car insurance was out of her reach. until she heard about the value plan. and saving money with allstate doesn't stop
jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next...
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Jul 31, 2011
07/11
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. >> what is jon stewart talking about and why did stephen colbert interrupt one of my broadcasts. >> i'm in the middle of a broadcast. >> who isn't, sanjay. >> i'll explain that and more in the news right now. >> good evening, i'm don lemon. u.s. senators are on the job. the high stakes standoff over raising the nation's debt ceiling has lawmakers working this very hour. as of now, they don't agree with they're making any progress. tonight cnn has learned that mitch mcconnell is in direct contact with the white house and democratic leaders in congress met face to face with the president late this afternoon. but just a short time ago on the senate floor, senator harry reid insisted that claims a deal could be near are simply not true. >> today the speaker republican leader held a press conference to announce they're in talks with the president and that a bargain to raise the debt ceiling is in the works and is close. mr. president, members of the senate, that's not true. >> i just spent two hours with the president and vice president and leader pelosi. and it's fair for me to say that
. >> what is jon stewart talking about and why did stephen colbert interrupt one of my broadcasts. >> i'm in the middle of a broadcast. >> who isn't, sanjay. >> i'll explain that and more in the news right now. >> good evening, i'm don lemon. u.s. senators are on the job. the high stakes standoff over raising the nation's debt ceiling has lawmakers working this very hour. as of now, they don't agree with they're making any progress. tonight cnn has learned that...
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Jul 26, 2011
07/11
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well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually fully cooked. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [ bleep ] fork when he ate it. as long as i live, as long as i live -- you don't eat, how dare you disrespect me. you son of a [ bleep ]. >> going back to the sort of psuedo de niro, i don't know what it is, but i like it. here it is, again, mr. trump, our good friend, donald j. trump, eating pizza with a fork. with sarah palin in may. we like dumb criminals here on "way too early" as you may have noticed. there's a liquor store down in pembroke, florida, that's been hit twice now by the same v
well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually...
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Jul 21, 2011
07/11
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it's kind of funny, what jon stewart said. >> he is funny. what's your point? >> it's kind of not funny, too. seriously. >> it's fascinating. are you doing the reporting? >> i have been. writing a series of web pieces. this is just an epic story. the amount of headlines every day coming out of this story. this, on a normal day would be, you know, a month long story. every headline would have a long shelf life. yet, they keep coming. to me, the next step is what does this mean for the future of news corp. and rupert murdock. who is going to step in if there's a management takeover. >> you talked in your last piece that i read how this seems counter intuitive but it's good for roger ayles. >> for once, all the critics are not talking about fox. fox is not involved in this, as far as we know in the hacking saga. it's a legitimate business. what's going on with murdock's tabloid has nothing to do with fox news. >> explain how his enemy's within his family and news corp. are going up in flames now. that leaves ayles stronger. >> that's been roger's thing the whole t
it's kind of funny, what jon stewart said. >> he is funny. what's your point? >> it's kind of not funny, too. seriously. >> it's fascinating. are you doing the reporting? >> i have been. writing a series of web pieces. this is just an epic story. the amount of headlines every day coming out of this story. this, on a normal day would be, you know, a month long story. every headline would have a long shelf life. yet, they keep coming. to me, the next step is what does this...
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Jul 18, 2011
07/11
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jon: stewart rothenberg thank you. jenna: a teenager survives after a seriously rude awakening not from an alarm clock or anything like that but from a massive black bear. imagine waking up to find a 200-pound bear taking a bite out of your leg, jon. jon: that is an alarm clock with teeth. jenna: that's what happened to this 13-year-old boy camping in colorado this weekend. other campers scared the bear away. the teen says he was moments away from a far worst fate. >> he had to actual me out at one point, luckily my pajamas just broke, so he just took my pajamas. jenna: he went into the tent the bear did. there was some question of whether or not there was food inside the tent. wildlife officials used tracking dogs and eventually found this bear, they had to put him down. the boy was treated for cuts on his leg at a nearby hospital, later was released. quite he is okay. he has quite a story to tell in future years. the clock is ticking on the debt ceiling debate. one major credit rating agency is offering a radical new
jon: stewart rothenberg thank you. jenna: a teenager survives after a seriously rude awakening not from an alarm clock or anything like that but from a massive black bear. imagine waking up to find a 200-pound bear taking a bite out of your leg, jon. jon: that is an alarm clock with teeth. jenna: that's what happened to this 13-year-old boy camping in colorado this weekend. other campers scared the bear away. the teen says he was moments away from a far worst fate. >> he had to actual me...
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Jul 26, 2011
07/11
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wouldn't you know, it jon stewart is watching. >> oh, lord. >> a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la senaro. a weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it. but where we humans saw hardship, tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you cook eggs on the street. cook cookies on a dashboard. i'll taste the pizza. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off of the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [ bleep ]. fork when we ate it. as long as i live, as long as i live -- you don't -- how dare you disrespect. you son of a -- >> kind of -- the new york morphed into a deniro. >> it is. >> brando. >> who made jon do that? >> so funny about that. it's not anything like -- he goes there more every time. >> he's being a real new yorker going after him. here it is. the donald -- we loved it. >> no, honey. >> no! >> he's very sweet. he's trying to be elegant. >> don't do that. >> a plastic fork. >> trying not to eat the bread. >> that's true. i do notice that. >> but he didn't eat the cheese off. you're supposed to take the cheese
wouldn't you know, it jon stewart is watching. >> oh, lord. >> a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la senaro. a weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it. but where we humans saw hardship, tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you cook eggs on the street. cook cookies on a dashboard. i'll taste the pizza. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off of the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [...
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Jul 20, 2011
07/11
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john schneider, jon stewart, steve carell or james. >> believe it's the first one. >> believe you're wrong. >> no, no, no, it's good. happy news, he gets my cd "sentimental." good for him. so the correct answer is jon stewart. >> a lot of people don't remember that before he was the host of "the daily show," he was a stand-up comedian and an actor who had quite a few film roles and tv roles. >> did not know. back to kath. >> which father gave him his first acting role, tom hanks, martin sheen. >> i'll say martin sheen. >> it's a good day for me. >> great day for all. >> that was a good guess. i would have said martin sheen. the correct answer is tom hanks. >> that film called "that thing you do." he gave his son colin hanks a role. >> his son had a long runway with acting and that was his first role and since then he's been in a few roles that don't even involve his dad. >> look at this beautiful mom and their kids, they are from chicago, the most honest city in the country, right? >> yes. >> all right. we'll play a clip, okay? i'll ask you the question. >> what else can we be forget
john schneider, jon stewart, steve carell or james. >> believe it's the first one. >> believe you're wrong. >> no, no, no, it's good. happy news, he gets my cd "sentimental." good for him. so the correct answer is jon stewart. >> a lot of people don't remember that before he was the host of "the daily show," he was a stand-up comedian and an actor who had quite a few film roles and tv roles. >> did not know. back to kath. >> which father...
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Jul 1, 2011
07/11
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. >> reporter: remember the good old days when jon stewart was celebrated for using the "d" word to attack the host of a cnn show called crossfire. >> you're as big a [ bleep ] on your show as any other show. >> reporter: turns out mark halperin apologized a couple years ago for saying john edwards thinks obama is kind of a "p" word that means timid. now they've used the "d" word as well, gawker reports halperin has called obama both types of genitalia, look for the "d" spot, disconnect. >> one button, two button, four. >> reporter: jeanne moos, cnn, new york. >> all right. coming up next hour, he could have been france's next president. now word that the sex assault case against dominique strauss-kahn may crumble. we'll talk about his future and whether the u.s. legal system really dropped the ball. 55 minutes after the hour. a vacation on a budget with expedia. make it work. booking a flight by itself is an uh-oh. see if we can "stitch" together a better deal. that's a hint, antoine. ooh! see what anandra did? booking your flight and hotel at the same time gets you prices hotels and airl
. >> reporter: remember the good old days when jon stewart was celebrated for using the "d" word to attack the host of a cnn show called crossfire. >> you're as big a [ bleep ] on your show as any other show. >> reporter: turns out mark halperin apologized a couple years ago for saying john edwards thinks obama is kind of a "p" word that means timid. now they've used the "d" word as well, gawker reports halperin has called obama both types of...